* POST No. FIVE:

CHARLIE GRRR IS LEFT IN THE DARK... *

I seemed to be falling forever...

In reality it was probably quite a short fall - at least the landing was comfortable - for me, anyway...

"Owww..." I'd landed on something soft that had made a given out a rather loud, indignant cry when I'd fallen on it. "Owww - that really hurt... Would you mind where you're falling next time, please?"

"Oh... Very sorry - are you alright... I couldn't see where I was going... Have I damaged you?"

Silence. Then... "No, no - that's okay..." To be honest I wasn't sure what to do next - I wasn't in the mood for talking and neither, it seemed was the shape that had just spoken to me. So after I minute or two I began to feel bored and so I popped out my Palm Pilot and began to blog away at one of my earlier entries to this site - keen to update you all on what I'd been going through... "What's that light?"

"Sorry..." I apologised. "Is it keeping you awake? I was just writing to some friends... I wasn't sure how much longer we'd be waiting here - I didn't mean to be rude..."

"That's okay..." said my companion a little grumpily - in the glow from my Pilot I could just make out a rather battered looking fellow in a leather jacket - with dark hair and large smiley teeth which didn't look quite so smiley just at the minute. He wasn't a bear - not at all, in fact - just a man. I soon began to find his staring at me a trifle intimidating so I let the light go off again. "You're very calm..." he continued. "For somebody who's just fallen down a shaft into a mysterious darkened room..."

"It's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last... I must say I was expecting better hospitality - I don't think much of this Waiting Room - but I suppose it's all part of the top secret excitement of the place... Kills the time whilst they get your suit made..."

"I'd say you know more than I think I do..." said the man. "I've been here ages and I still don't know a damned thing..."

"Oh really?" I replied. "Well, how long have you been here?"

"About two days..."

I must admit I was shocked by this. "Golly - I hope they fed you!"

"I thought they were about to..." replied the man with a slight tremble in his voice. "To one of the bears..."

"Oh..." I didn't know what to say next. "Actually - I am a bear myself, but I promise I won't eat you - not even a nibble... I can't see you very clearly, but I take it you're not one of us... I mean, not a bear... So, why exactly ARE you here - at a bear tailors?"

The man sighed, as if wondering whether my question was some sort of trick or trap. "I'm a photographer and journalist... I came here on a story - all the way from Mexico to write a story about the bear scene - I mean - about the bears and other animals that live in the city..." he paused. "Gentlemen such as yourself..."

"Oh golly... Really?" I was quite impressed and yet also a tad concerned. "So, have you been poking around in places that you shouldn't?"

The man said nothing for a while and then replied. "Not as such..." he said and then went on. "Actually it was the Police - the human police that seem the least keen to admit there is anything other than ordinary folk living here in the city... I even spoke to a group of martians the other day... Very pleasant they were..." he paused. "I think I recognise you - you're Charlie Grrr aren't you? You're very big back home in Beargrrria?"

I must admit for a moment I felt very gushy and proud and I almost hugged the man, but then I suddenly got all paranoid and began to wonder if he wasn't some dreadful journalist intent on bringing down the good reputation of Beargrrria or even worse - the good reputation of ME!!! "I don't know what you mean..." I said at first. "My name is Phyllis Flange and I'm just the cleaner here..." I lied and then realised that I was convincing nobody - not my new friend here and neither myself!! "Okay... I am Charlie Grrr!" I admitted. "But what exactly are you intending to write about - because if it's anything inappropriate then I might just decide that I have to eat you after all!"

"Oh God... Please no... Really, it's honestly nothing bad..." he assured me. "I'm just fascinated by the whole country - I'm a big fan of you too - I even managed to get to see one of your shows... That bit on the last tour where you juggled the Herring - that was marvellous - I never knew Herring could sing!!"

"Very well, actually!" I nodded - now more convinced by his story. "What else did you like?"

"Those exploding grandmothers you brought in... They were very good and those Beavers who thought they were the love children of Shakespeare and Byron - I mean - those two were just plain deluded - they must have been so hard to work with..."

"I managed - they were difficult at first - but I have the knack..."

"I didn't think they'd let me in - but I wrapped up in a fur rug and got front row tickets..." he continued, but my audience were frequently pretty odd looking so there was no way I was going to remember him.

"Well, I'm very glad you enjoyed the show - you must come to another if we ever get out of this damn Waiting Room - how long have you been here - I suppose you'll be going in to see Jasper first?"

"Umm... Probably not - I don't actually have an appointment you see - I was just after finding out some more and I don't think they were very pleased... You do realise that this isn't the Waiting Room don't you? I think this is where they put the people who they don't want to see..."

"REALLY?" I was furious now. "That damn cub on reception... He didn't like it because I had a go due to his shoddy treatment of me when I arrived... Are you SURE this isn't the Waiting Room? Really?"

"Quite sure... When I first arrived there was another journalist, a postman and two milk men - apparently they'd all asked too many questions at reception and gotten dumped down here. They disappeared a while ago - one after the other - I'm not sure what happened to them actually..." he said and shivered. "But if it's any consolation I thought that guy on reception was a rather up himself..."

"He was wasn't he... Well, don't you worry about anything..." I told my new friend the journalist. "I DO have an appointment and I won't have us treated like this Mr... What is your name by the way?"

"Nephtali. Neph for short..." he begun, but I didn't hear much more because I'd started shouting.

"LISTEN HERE!!! I DEMAND YOU LET MYSELF AND THIS GENTLEMAN OUT... I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT - BUT I HAVE AN URGENT APPOINTMENT WITH JASPER GROWL ABOUT A DISGUISE AND THIS FINE FELLOW WILL BE ACCOMPANYING ME TO THE MEETING - HE'S MY NEW PRESS AGENT..." I decided on the spur of the moment. "I hope that's okay with you..." I muttered to Neph and thought I heard a grunt in reply. "IF I'M NOT IMMEDIATELY RELEASED FROM HERE THEN I'LL BE MAKING A REPORT TO THE BEARGRRRIAN EMBASSY TO HAVE YOU CLOSED DOWN... THIS IS APPALLING BEHAVIOUR!?! TURN THE LIGHTS ON NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME? WELL, DO YOU?" I stopped at that point, out of breath. "Let's hope that did the trick, ey Neph..." I grinned to myself.

Before Neph could reply, there came a crackling noise and voice suddenly boomed out in the darkness. "I'm terribly sorry, Mr Grrr - this is Jasper Growl here... I must apolgise for my receptionist, Lucky can rather overreact at times - he can be a tad trigger happy with the old trap door... We do indeed have an appointment and I'm just putting the finishing touches to your disguise now - if you could just bear with me a while longer - my Senior Assistant, Douglas will be there in just a moment to escort you to the real Waiting Room - which you'll certainly find a lot more comfortable... Once again - my very sincerest apologies... I'll see you very soon..." the speaker crackled off and all was silent and dark once more.

"What about Neph here... He's with me... Don't worry fella... I'll sort them out... Are you okay there?" Neph didn't reply - but just then the lights started coming on and for the first time I saw the dank empty cell in which I'd been sitting for the last 20 minutes or so.

"Terribly sorry, Sir..." I could hear a bear calling from just outside a large metal door. "I'll just let you out and get you to the Waiting Room - you must be very lonely in there - I'm very sorry..."

"Not lonely..." I began. "I had company... But it is rather smelly and dark, isn't it Neph?" I turned to my friend. "NEPHTALI?"

The room was empty - there was nobody there but me!!!

TO BE CONTINUED...

CHARLIE GRRR xxx