* POST No. ONE:

CHARLIE GRRR'S GRAND ENTRANCE... *


London's not quite the place I'd always imagined it was going to be...

I'm beginning to see where there might be a problem!

I arrived at Heathrow late yesterday afternoon, 5 hours after departing Beargrrria Airport in my home made Spitfire (made from lolly sticks) - my arms feeling very tired from lots of emergency flapping during the journey. Overall, I was happy - I'd made it! Of course, back home my plans to arrive in London and form my very own "Arts community" was met with much Press attention. I suppose I was naive enough to presume that some of this chatter would have spread over the the U.K., but it rather seems that London doesn't consider such matters of any interest - it's not news! Even when a guy swoops into Heathrow in a plane made from lolly sticks!
I'm beginning to think that compared to life in Beargrrria - life in London is actually slightly backward! Who'd have thought it! After the 60s and all - oh never mind...

I have a lot of work to do here...

I'm probably underplaying things when I say my arrival caused no attention - the airport Police did try and arrest me which excited me for a moment or two - but alas - when they saw me - stepping from my plane they rather lost their nerve, I think... There I stood with my smart ferretwoven suitcases and wearing my dapper Primark brown cordoroy jacket... (Ah yes - we have Primark in Beargrrria too - it's not all steak pies and pasties you know!) and I called out to them. "Greetings from Beargrrria - I appear to have landed a little awkwardly - if someone can just pack her away into a hanger somewhere I don't expect to flying off again anytime soon..."

"Bloody hell..." said one of the Policemen, which I felt was rather an unpleasant first greeting to someone just arrived in the country. "It's a talking bear..."

"Charles Grrr at your service..." I smiled. "Pleased to make your acquaintance... I am rather proud of my english, I must say - self taught you know from reading the sleeve notes of old Kate Bush albums..." I explained, crossing myself as I spoke the name of Her Who Will Be Adored.

"I've never seen the like of it..." said another of the Policemen. "Who'd have thought it? Should we call London Zoo..."

"Now listen young man!" I said and took a step towards them, very close to growling ferociously at the appalling manner in which I was being treated. "A joke is a joke... But I think you will find that my papers are all in order and if you care to call the Beargrrrian Embassy in Sloane Square then I think you'll find that I am not breaking any laws - as for my plane I do have a license for it and that your colleagues in air traffic control were quite well informed of my arrival..."

I needn't go into any more detail of the whole matter but needless to say - all WAS in order and I was hastily driven under Police guard to Sloane Square - where I have been based here in rooms at the Embassy ever since...

The Policeman (I believe his name was Trevor) had a word with the Beargrrrian Ambassador, a very kind gentleman who I know only as Mr Monday. "I realise that things are rather different in your country..." he said. "I realise that where you come from people are used to seeing fully grown bears living their everyday lives amongst everyday folk and that quite possibly - they are in the majority in your country... But it's rather more unusual in London... Also I understand that the bears in your native land have a good grasp of language - especially of English - however you will find that many UK natives themselves - don't even have a particularly good grasp of it - so the fact that YOU DO may seem a little strange to them..."

"I think Mr Grrr is beginning to realise this..." Mr Monday explained to Trevor the Policeman. "But in our country this gentleman is quite a household name - he shouldn't be prevented from bringing his talents to this country... It's quite against all human rights policy..."

"You don't want another war on your hands do you..." I interjected at this point. "I don't think Tony Blair could cope with that now - do you?!"

Trevor the Policeman looked slightly cross, but Monday had interupted again. "I'm sure it wouldn't come to that... But I do think that perhaps something should be done, whether it be via the media or with Police backing so that Mr Grrr can go about his business like anybody else... He's obviously not the only bear working here in the city and I'd be happy to give him some personal advice - but he can't be kept under house arrest for very much longer... Moreover he really mustn't feel that everytime he steps outside he is going to get dragged down to the Police Station or off to London Zoo..."

Trevor nodded - seeming to understand the problem - but he's not been seen since and that was over 24 hours ago... As Monday explained to them - this can't go on forever and I'm beginning to get itchy feet... There is a whole city out there to explore and Charlie Grrr won't be kept away from it for very long... You'll see...

Watch This Space... I shall post more very soon!

Kind Regards to you all back home,

Charlie Grrr! xxx